“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
- Ephesians 2:10
God placed love and compassion for children in my heart and this love has guided my decisions throughout my life. I taught preschool, I majored in Child Development at UC Davis, I worked with underprivileged and severely neglected children in Oakland, and I served as a permanency liaison to children placed in the foster system throughout Alameda County. I also volunteered at an organization that provides essentials to new parents, and I was blessed to become a mom of two sweet children. In all seasons of life I felt compelled to care for the hearts of children and to support parents and families who are struggling. I knew in my heart that God was leading me towards fostering which was both exciting and terrifying, but I chose to follow him.
I patiently waited until God called my husband to this mission so that we could be a strong team. This hope came to fruition a few years ago when my husband began volunteering for Sleep in Heavenly Peace building beds for underprivileged children. He became a regular volunteer and eventually began delivering the beds with the chapter leaders every Saturday morning. He came home each time moved by two starkly contrasting emotions. He felt the deep sadness of disfunction, poverty and the negative effects of lacking basic needs. And, at the same time he felt the immense joy each child expressed when they saw their very own bed. He saw them jumping up and down and calling out to their siblings with excitement. Most of all he saw that they are children just like our own, children who played peek a boo with him as he assembled the beds, they were silly, sweet and innocent. He wanted to make sure each child has everything they need, to feel loved and worthy of a home, a room, a bed, and a family. My 8 year old daughter and 11 year old son were fully on board and beyond excited so we forged ahead!
Agape Villages was a familiar name that we had heard many times at church so it was the first place we went to ask about getting certified as a resource family. We were welcomed, well informed and consistently encouraged each step of the way. I am immensely grateful for the care we were and are still shown. During the process of becoming resource parents my husband made a comment that I believe sums it up: “It shouldn’t be easy to get certified”. The tedious process was a lot to juggle but he was completely right; these sweet children deserve the best: safety, comfort, security and selfless care… nothing less. Agape Villages walked the fine line of both encouraging us as applicants while also placing the well being of the children who would one day be in our care as their highest priority. We are so grateful for how Agape prepared us and now for how they support us in the midst of fostering children. Our Agape social worker is so well known and loved in our home that we all look forward to his visits. Agape Villages has provided everything we need so that we can focus our energy and attention on the children who need it the most.
Our first bonus blessings were siblings who were at risk of being separated. We had the opportunity to prevent that from happening and so we welcomed them into our home the very next morning after receiving the call. I remember the fear and sorrow that consumed these children. We comforted the toddler while reassuring his older sibling that we were going to keep them safe. The older sibling watched as we encouraged their mom and reassured her that we would care for her children with all our might. We made it clear we are for them and their family not against them. Building trust took time and a whole lot of patience but eventually the light in their faces started to return.
Soon our house was filled with laughter, silliness, and the sounds of kiddos running up and down the hallway during a rowdy game of hide and seek. We have so many wonderful memories of baking cookies, doing arts and crafts, visiting the pumpkin patch, and simply watching them be kids together. The older child drew a picture with hearts all over it and it said “thank you for taking care of me and my brother”. My husband and I will cherish this forever and keep it as a reminder of why we do this.
We had the great privilege of celebrating with them when the decision was made that they were going home. We hugged and jumped up and down, we made their favorite meal and just enjoyed our last moments together. The number one reason people tell me they could never foster is the heartbreak of saying goodbye. And I share this with them: We love these children so much and have such deep faith in God’s plan for them that we feel saying goodbye, although difficult, is an incredible way to honor what is best for them and yet another way to show how much they mean to us. The day of reunification their mother repeatedly thanked us with tears in her eyes as I carried the youngest child to her and placed him into her arms. She held onto both of her children tightly. On Christmas Eve the older sibling called us to say they are doing well and that they miss us. It was, by far, the best Christmas gift we’ve ever received.
Going into fostering we expected the obstacles of this mission to be great and did our best to prepare for how hard this was going to be. What has surprised us the most is the overwhelming joy each child has brought into our lives. Our children are wonderful examples of how such an experience as this can be seen through a positive and loving lens. Upon saying goodbye to our first two bonus blessings my children asked, almost immediately, when the next foster children would arrive. We all looked forward to the next adventure and prayed for God to bring us children that need our love and care. This was the reassurance I needed that fostering is the right path for my family. The truth is the good greatly outweighs the hardships of this awesome journey.
We are now in the midst of our second foster placement and we are once again amazed by the joy a child can bring into our family no matter the circumstances. I realize that I would never be able to teach this kind of empathy and generosity to my children without this experience. Their ability to cheerfully love and care for a child who needs so much time and attention from their parents has been something I want to share with everyone who will listen. I too fell into the group of people who wonder if fostering would negatively affect my biological children and I’ve seen that notion completely turned on its head first hand. They don’t see it as something being taken away from them, they see it as children being added to our family. They would take in so many more if we had the room and I pray that is possible someday. They simply see the good. I pray by sharing our experience we can encourage other families to foster without fear hindering their courage.
I’ll end with this; I often hear people reference scripture by saying God won’t give you more than you can handle, or some version of that biblical message. The scripture more accurately says if we choose to serve the Lord we will encounter trials that are, without a doubt, more than we can handle. But, by being reminded of our weaknesses, we learn to fully rely on God’s strength as opposed to our own. We are surely not strong enough to handle this, at least not by ourselves, but we know God’s strength and we trust him fully. With this firm foundation we will continue to care for each child in the uniquely beautiful way that they each deserve and through our actions we pray others will be inspired to do so as well.
Sincerely,
The Miller family and our bonus blessings